You might think that a title such as “Counseling for a Teenager Near Me” sounds strange. Actually, it describes something that I come across fairly often: parents and other adults reaching out to help a teen get the support the adult feels they need. In this case, “Near Me” is referring to the teen being somebody close to them.
Chances are you’re worried about your child and unsure how to help. Maybe your nephew or niece seems anxious, withdrawn, angry, overwhelmed, or just not themselves anymore. Caring adults want to help them. To help them find answers and solutions.
When it comes to teen therapy, there’s an uncomfortable truth many parents and caring adults need to understand:
Therapy only works when the teenager wants to be there.
Why Forcing Therapy Usually Backfires
Teenagers are in a stage of life where autonomy matters deeply. Being told what to do—especially around emotions—often leads to resistance. By the way – this is normal and natural. One thing that crosses all cultures, religions, and countries is the fact that parents and teens argue. Kidshealth.org wrote a great article that describes this better than I can.
When therapy feels forced, teens may shut down, say very little, or treat sessions like a chore they need to survive rather than a space that could help them.
In our work with teens and families across Vaughan, Markham, Richmond Hill, and Toronto, we see this pattern clearly. Parents call us (with great intentions) saying that their teen needs help. And many times they are right.
Here’s the problem: regardless of the age, therapy is only effective when the patient wants it. When a person, especially a teen is forced to do it, the result is often frustration on all sides and very little progress.
One of the first questions that we ask all parents is if their kid would agree to meet. While there is no specific age where a child gains the ability to provide their own legal consent, many public agencies go with 12 years of age. Having said this, I’ve told parents of children younger that I don’t think their child should continue because they don’t want to do it.
What Changes When a Teen (or anybody for that matter) Chooses Therapy
When a teen agrees to counseling—even reluctantly—the tone is completely different. They may still be unsure or guarded, but there’s some openness instead of resistance. That small shift is enough for real work to begin.
Teen counselling can help with anxiety, stress, school pressure, low mood, anger, family conflict, and self-esteem. More importantly, it gives teens a place where they are not being judged, fixed, or lectured. It’s one of the few spaces in their life that is fully theirs.
How Parents Can Help Without Forcing
If you think a teen needs therapy, here is what you can do:
- If you’ve had your own therapy experience, consider discussing it with them.
- Let them know that what they tell their therapist is confidential. Parents don’t have the right to be told what was discussed (outside of some legal limits to confidentiality). Therapists do not report back to parents.
- Acknowledge how hard things feel for them, even if you don’t fully understand their perspective. Let them know therapy isn’t about fixing them or taking sides. It’s about giving them support on their terms.
When possible, allow teens to have a say in who they see and whether they continue after the first session or two. Feeling trapped is what kills engagement. Feeling respected builds it.
It also helps to explain confidentiality clearly. Many teens avoid therapy because they assume everything will be reported back to their parents. Knowing that therapy is private—unless there’s a safety concern—often lowers their guard.
In the end remember: the teen has the legal right to refuse. And it will not be effective if they are coerced.
At our clinic we have extensive experience with teens and we offer everybody a free virtual consultation. For sessions, we can meet in person and online. If you want more information you can email admin@hhcw.ca to book a consultation or just ask questions!