If you’ve ever tried to take a break and immediately felt guilty, you’re not the only one. In my work as a therapist in Vaughan, Ontario, I see this pattern all the time. People want to relax… but can’t. Their inner voice keeps repeating “You should be doing something more productive.” So why does taking care of yourself feel like a guilty pleasure?
We’ve Been Taught That Productivity = Worth
I don’t know when, but at some point our society decided that rest is a luxury and productivity is the standard. People became more focused on their professional lives at the cost of their personal time. I’m not saying that being career focused is bad. Not at all. The problem I see is that career has an oversized place in many people’s priorities.
For many people, time off leads to thoughts like:
- “Why aren’t I doing something useful?”
- “I must have something I can be doing.”
- “I don’t have time to relax.”
What is lost, and I argue needs to be rediscovered, is that humans are not machines. We can’t perform at our best without rest. And even machines need to be powered off for repairs.
Canadian Employment Laws Recognize This
In Ontario — including right here in Vaughan — employers legally have to respect limits on working hours and provide vacation time. Many workplaces even offer more than the minimum.
Why? Because the research is overwhelming:
People who take breaks and vacations perform better, think more clearly, and burn out less.
Research from the American Psychological Association shows that burnout is directly linked to ongoing workplace stress and can seriously affect mood, focus, and health. You can read more about it in their article on burnout and stress.
I think that this is just as applicable to Canada whether you live in Toronto, Montreal, Vaughan, or Calgary. And while it was written at the end of COVID, I don’t see any real changes.
So if rest is built into our laws, our workplaces, and our biology… why does taking care of yourself still feel wrong?
We’ve Lost Sight of the Importance of Downtime
Frequently, my patients tell me they feel like they always have to be doing something productive. It’s become the default mindset.
But downtime isn’t a reward.
It isn’t a benefit you “earn.”
And it really isn’t cheating on your to-do list.
Time Not Working = Being Productive. It keeps your mind and body functioning.
When we treat rest like something we must justify, we end up anxious, tired, and emotionally drained. And ironically, we become less productive.
Celebrate Rest Instead of Feeling Guilty About It!
This is a mindset shift I work on with clients all the time. Instead of thinking:
- “I’m being lazy,” or
- “I should be doing more,”
try reframing it as:
- “Resting now = more energy later.”
- “My health needs rest … the same as food, sleep, or water.”
- “By taking care of myself now, I will function later.”
When people learn to congratulate themselves for resting — instead of criticizing themselves — everything changes:
- Relaxing gets easier. You stop fighting your own thoughts.
- Your productivity improves. A rested brain (and body) is sharper than a burnt-out one.
This shift is simple but powerful. And it works.
The New Paradigm: Taking Care of Yourself Isn’t a Guilty Pleasure — It’s a Vital Life Skill
Skills, to work, require practice. This means that seeing rest as important might take time.
If you struggle with guilt around rest, you’re not broken. Actually, you’re quite normal!
You’re simply working against old beliefs — and those can be changed.
If this is something you’d like support with, our team at Health & Happiness: Counselling and Wellness can try to help you understand where this guilt comes from and how to work through it in a healthy, compassionate way.
We are located in Vaughan and have plenty of free parking!